If you’re sober, the holidays can be fun in numerous ways. Some celebrations might include family members, others a few close friends, and still others might involve getting out into the community more than you used to with different festivals and events. As you plan ahead for the season, stay focused on managing expectations, being mindful of your triggers, and maintaining your sober intentions.
Don’t Take on Too Much!
Being emotionally prepared for the holiday season requires thoughtful planning, as many of us go all out this time of year. It’s as though whatever bad happened from January through October will magically disappear if you strive to make everything festive and bright—at least, that’s the image presented in holiday commercials and movies. We have to find the perfect gift, have the most stunning decorations, make the most scrumptious treats, be an exceptional host, have the best-behaved children, deal with Mother no matter what she says, and not talk back to Uncle Joe about politics.
The Mayo Clinic points out that “Expectations…can lead to feelings of not doing enough in preparation. It’s important to clarify what others’ expectations are and to state your own. It’s also important to prioritize your mental health during the holiday season. This can mean saying ‘no’ or setting boundaries. Give yourself permission to decline things that do not serve you.”
Also, schedule things with plenty of wiggle room—and maybe a little grace—so you don’t feel pressured. This might include planning your time around:
- What customs you’ll observe
- Who you’ll see
- What you’ll make from scratch vs. buying prepared foods
- When you’ll shop
- How many parties you’ll attend
Video call certain relatives if you can’t make it to every gathering, and consider getting together after the first of the year, too.
In summary, assess expectations for yourself and others. Come to terms with these thoughts. Then, let them go. Simply plan to have a more relaxed, less judgmental holiday.
Prepare for Triggers and Cravings
Another important aspect to mention is that the holidays aren’t always joyful. If there’s lingering trauma or grief, dual diagnosis symptoms to manage, or a need to rebuild trust with loved ones, this time of year might put your sobriety to the test in ways you can’t expect. In fact, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that more than 60% of people feel the holidays make their condition worse.
It’s critical to stick with essential recovery routines, 12-Step and other peer support meetings, spiritual beliefs, regular therapy, meditation, and other self-care methods. NAMI also suggests:
- Accept your needs. This includes acknowledging many of the points we highlighted above, as well as being more aware of what makes you physically and emotionally triggered.
- Set boundaries. “Family dynamics can be complex. Acknowledge them and accept that you can only control your role. If you need to, find ways to limit your exposure,” NAMI states.
- Eat well. Yes, everything morsel is a delight, but you’ll be able to stabilize your mood more effectively if your primary diet is focused on whole foods with occasional treats.
- Get outside. NAMI also adds that “Studies show that time in nature reduces stress. Need to break away from family during a holiday gathering? Take a walk in a local park.”
- Volunteer. “The act of volunteering can provide a great source of comfort,” NAMI states. “By helping people who are not as fortunate, you can also feel less lonely or isolated and more connected to your community.” This is also a wonderful way to express gratitude for all the positive people who have helped during your recovery.
Focus on Sober Fun
Although many of us grew up with certain seasonal expectations and traditions, if you’re concerned these very things will restrict your ability to enjoy the holidays or compromise your recovery, it’s essential to your wellness to redefine what fun can include this time of year.
Here are some ideas to create sober holiday traditions. Some of these might happen with little effort, while others could require everyone to get on board with something new and different. Either way, hopefully, they’ll spark even more thoughts on how to make your sober season bright.
Ask Fair Oaks’ Alumni For Additional Support
Who knows exactly what you’re going through? Your alumni connections. Don’t hesitate to reach out for inspiration, guidance, and understanding.
Fair Oaks Recovery Center in Sacramento, California, is a licensed Chemical Dependency Recovery Hospital, issued by the California Department of Public Health to addiction rehabilitation and dual diagnosis treatment facilities. We believe our alumni group is one of the strongest components of our program, as it fosters a sense of community focused on celebrating every aspect of sober living. If you’ve not taken advantage of it before, please contact us for more information.
