Being a parent is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles a person can take on, filled with moments of joy, growth, and unconditional love. But for parents in recovery, the journey takes on even deeper significance. Fortunately, with the help of family therapy and resources from around the world, you can create meaningful, loving relationships.
Is Parenting Harder When You’re in Recovery?
That’s hard to say, as raising another human being is never simple. The University of Nevada states that there are 10 primary factors that parents grapple with at one time or another:
- Reality vs. expectation—no matter how many parenting books, blogs, and TikToks are available, we have to adapt to what’s real.
- Sleep deprivation—it can take up to five years after your child is born for you to return to a normal sleep pattern.
- Feeling judged—not only by friends and family but also sometimes within the parental unit, too.
- A different sense of time—because a child believes putting on their shoes can happen by tomorrow when you need them to do it in the next five minutes!
- Developmentally inappropriate expectations—learning more about how children naturally progress and having patience with their processes really helps.
- Conflict over independence—whether you have a toddler or a teen, there are many lessons about setting limits yet allowing autonomy.
- Watching kids’ failure—it’s only natural to never want your child to experience loss or make mistakes, but you can help them grow in these moments, too.
- A challenging child—whether it’s because of natural temperament, behavioral issues, developmental delays, behavior challenges, or physical difficulties, there are legitimate reasons to be concerned and seek help.
- Too much information—constant monitoring of social media and the internet poses many problems in some families.
- Conflict over digital media use—similarly, disagreements over screen time and technology use in general can be disruptive.
Different phases of your child’s life may present more complications, too. Some studies indicate that middle-grade kids are harder to parent because of all the negative influences and issues they have to deal with that maybe weren’t present in our lives only a few years ago.
Then, there’s you, trying to stay committed to sobriety. This means balancing the daily responsibilities of raising a child with the ongoing work of healing yourself. It’s about breaking cycles, reclaiming your life, and providing your children with a stable, loving environment—one grounded in strength, resilience, and hope. So is it going to be harder? Maybe not. For parents like you, every milestone, no matter how small, is a testament to your dedication to building a healthier future for yourself and your family.
10 Tips to Help You Be a Great Parent
Incorporating these suggestions creates a supportive and nurturing environment that fosters your child’s growth and well-being while ensuring that you, as a parent, stay emotionally balanced and resilient. You can also follow the links to access more resources to help your journey.
- Be Present and Attentive
Giving your child your full attention strengthens your bond and boosts their emotional development. The Child Mind Institute indicates that children who receive consistent, focused attention from their parents tend to have better social and emotional outcomes. Specifically, positive attention, which “requires a lens shift in which we call out kids for good behavior and ignore (at least in the moment) the not-so-good.”
- Establish Routine and Structure
A predictable routine provides children with a sense of security, helps them develop self-discipline, and enables them to perform better academically and emotionally. Raising Kids With Purpose outlines how to structure various aspects of the day, such as morning and after school, naps and bedtime, meals, chores and homework, and play and family time.
- Encourage Open Communication
Encouraging your child to express their thoughts and emotions fosters trust and emotional intelligence. Children who grow up in communicative households are better equipped to handle stress and form healthy relationships. Try these suggestions from the Better Health Channel. Also, if you feel your kids have questions about addiction, there are numerous age-appropriate books to use that prompt discussion.
- Model Healthy Behavior
Our kids learn a lot by observing us. Demonstrating healthy behaviors, such as managing stress effectively, eating well, and maintaining boundaries, teaches them how to develop positive habits.
- Set Clear Boundaries
No one wants to be the “bad cop” in the parental structure, but clear, consistent rules help everyone in the family understand expectations and consequences. Research shows that children who grow up with consistent boundaries tend to exhibit higher levels of self-control, empathy, and responsibility.
- Practice Positive Discipline
Instead of harsh punishment, focus on teaching and guiding behavior through positive discipline. Similar to positive attention, this approach of firm but kind rule reinforcement and constructive feedback leads to better long-term behavior and emotional regulation in children. More resources can be found through the Positive Discipline Association.
- Foster Independence
Research shows that children who are given appropriate levels of autonomy are more resilient and self-assured. Encouraging them to make decisions and take responsibility builds confidence and problem-solving skills. Family Education offers this helpful tutorial for age-aligned opportunities.
- Be Compassionate and Empathetic
If you had to deal with adverse childhood experiences, you might not have received the empathy you needed from caregivers. Fortunately, you now have the opportunity to raise your children differently. An empathetic parenting approach is linked to improved emotional intelligence and social skills in children.
- Encourage Play and Creativity
Play is crucial for a child’s cognitive, social, and emotional development. Research supports the idea that creative play fosters problem-solving abilities, teamwork, and emotional expression.
- Take Care of Yourself
Parents who practice self-care are better equipped to meet the emotional and physical needs of their children. As you progress through life, it might be necessary to rely on not only your recovery support groups but also guidance from organizations such as Parents Helping Parents, Other Parents Like Me, Circle of Parents, and other resources found through the California Department of Social Services.
Use Fair Oaks’ Alumni Connections, Too
Who knows exactly what you’re going through than another parent in recovery? So trust in our alumni connections to provide additional support. Fair Oaks Recovery Center in Sacramento, California is a licensed Chemical Dependency Recovery Hospital, issued by the California Department of Public Health to addiction rehabilitation and dual diagnosis treatment facilities that provide high-level acuity care.
