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Am I a High Functioning Alcoholic?

am i a high functioning alcoholic - woman with a headache - Fair Oaks Recovery CenterA Personal Account

Ask yourself this question: “Am I a high functioning alcoholic?” What comes up for you? Does that question make you squeamish or a little uncomfortable? Did you mentally make note of the last time you had a drink? My story is no different from others who have suffered with alcoholism. I held everything together with super glue – but even the best glue gets old and cracks with time. That’s what happened to me. My name is Susan. I am a high functioning alcoholic.

“If you had asked me that question six years ago, I would have laughed.”

It wouldn’t have been out of character for me to have thrown the question back at you with a snide “That depends on what you think a high functioning alcoholic is” or “If you have to ask if I am a high functioning alcoholic, maybe you need to look at your own drinking habits.” Clearly, I didn’t want to face the truth about my own drinking and the possibility that I was an alcoholic.

I ran an advertising firm. I was on the P.T.A, and I never (or very rarely) missed a football game or a ballet recital. I held it together – was up at 4am, at the gym by 5am, worked a full day at a stressful job and was home by 6pm to start dinner. I didn’t drink during the day, but definitely thought about it on the way home. Pulling in the garage, all I wanted to do was pour a drink. Yes, even before hugging my kids. The truth was, I was a high functioning alcoholic, and I had to hit rock bottom before I would even listen to anyone who was concerned about my drinking.

“My rock bottom happened on a Sunday at a family graduation brunch for my nephew.”

I had a few drinks before we left so I wouldn’t look like a lush, but just one drink at the restaurant put me over the edge and I blacked out. I don’t remember anything, anything I said or anything I did. It wasn’t until my husband confronted me the following day that I realized the destruction I had caused. I was mortified.

So I went into rehab full of shame, tail between my legs and my head down. Those were dark days and sobriety was hard work for me.

“Thankfully I stuck with it, because I really wanted it. . . I just celebrated my 5 years sober.”

Today, not only can I stand up and say “My name Susan and I’m an alcoholic,” but I can also say “My name is Susan and I am a high functioning alcoholic.”

So ask yourself again: “Am I a high functioning alcoholic?” If you think you may need help, please reach out because this is a progressive disease and will only get worse before it can get better.

Fair Oaks Recovery Center of california - sacramento alcohol and drug addiction treatment center

If you or someone you love has questions about treatment for alcoholism, please contact the professionals at Fair Oaks Recovery Centers today at (888) 989-9690.