Have you ever stopped to consider how many social events include alcohol? When someone attains the age of majority, we don’t celebrate the fact that they are adults. Instead, their friends celebrate by buying them their first “legal drink.” We celebrate milestones in our lives by raising a glass of alcohol in a toast to wish each other well at weddings, anniversary parties, birthday parties, graduation ceremonies, and the like. When our team wins the big game, we celebrate with a drink, and we drink when the team loses, too. Drinking is ingrained with so many celebrations that learning how to socialize without alcohol may seem foreign at first, but it can be done!
No Alcohol Means a Clear Head
If you want to enjoy socializing without alcohol, start by using what is between your ears. Think of the benefits you will enjoy if you go to a party or other social event without drinking.
When your focus isn’t on alcohol, your mind will be clear. You will be able to enjoy conversations with people. You will be able to follow conversations and participate appropriately. When your mind isn’t fuzzy from alcohol, you will make a better impression on friends and loved ones. You’ll be open to meeting new friends you might not otherwise notice.
Strategies for Socializing without Alcohol
Here are some strategies for socializing without alcohol in different settings.
Wedding Receptions, Anniversary Parties, etc.
The best way to navigate social gatherings while in alcohol addiction recovery is to plan in advance. These tips will help you socialize with family and friends while staying sober.
Tell people you trust you’re in recovery.
Not everyone in your life may know you’ve been in treatment for alcohol addiction. You may not feel comfortable telling them something so personal. Ask one or two people you will be socializing with to share the word that you are in recovery, when appropriate. Ask them to help diffuse any awkward moments when you say you aren’t drinking.
Go with a (non-drinking) buddy.
Bring someone to social events with you who also doesn’t drink. The other person doesn’t necessarily have to be in recovery. They just need to be someone who, for their own reasons, chooses to avoid alcohol.
Your buddy is someone who can back you up when you say you’re not drinking. This other person’s presence will take away the “Everyone else is doing it, so having one drink can’t hurt” thought that may come up.
Arrive at the social event early.
Going to a social event where alcohol is being served early means you arrive when people are still politely circling each other. You avoid interacting with someone who is already intoxicated and is encouraging other guests to drink with them.
Treat yourself to a mocktail.
If mocktails are available at the event, take a look at what is on offer and treat yourself to one that seems interesting. The drink will taste delicious without alcohol, and you can nurse it for some time without feeling pressured to order another.
In a case where mocktails aren’t your style, look for an alcohol-free beer. These drinks taste like “real” beer without threatening your sobriety. You can also order sparkling water with a slice of lemon or lime, or cranberry juice to enjoy during the event.
Focus on other people.
When you’re socializing, keep in mind that other people love to talk about themselves. If you meet someone new or are talking with someone you haven’t seen for some time, ask a general question and let them fill in the conversation. However, if the conversation isn’t going well, simply excuse yourself and move on to someone else.
Leave the event early.
If you’re in recovery, there is probably a limited time that you want to be around other people who are drinking. Decide what your limit is and don’t push past it. Put an alarm on your phone to remind you when you need to leave.
Remember that you don’t have to explain your reasons. If pressed, just say one of the following:
- You have another event to attend.
- You have a big day tomorrow, and you need a clear head.
- It’s getting late, and you need to get up early.
- It’s been great to see everyone, but you really must get going.
The tips listed above will help you navigate social situations without drinking alcohol. Don’t forget to relax and have fun!
Cookouts and Casual Get-togethers
Socializing with family and friends at their home should be enjoyable, not a cause of stress. If you are in the early stages of recovery, you may have concerns that turning down a drink may not go over well. A little preparation in advance will help you navigate these social situations successfully.
Focus on your decision not to drink.
As long as you feel confident that staying sober and not drinking is the right decision for you, no one will be able to persuade you otherwise. Has your life improved since you got sober? If it has (and you want to continue in that direction), then you have your answer if someone offers you a drink.
Decide what you will say when offered alcohol in advance.
If you are prepared in advance, your answer will be right on the tip of your tongue. Keep it simple, like, “I’m driving so I need to keep my head clear” or “I don’t feel like it.” Then ask for a soft drink instead. A good host will have alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available for guests.
Bring your own non-alcoholic drinks.
For a casual gathering, bring a cooler of non-alcoholic drinks. It will help avoid any awkwardness with your host since you have brought your own drinks. Bring enough to share with other guests, too.
Are you looking for a great ice-breaker at the party? Offer other guests a drink from your cooler. You can introduce yourself to new people at the same time.
Enjoy the Activities
If the guests are participating in activities such as playing volleyball, Frisbee, or catch, get involved. If you aren’t particularly athletic, you can cheer on someone who is playing.
Some guests may decide to go for a walk before dinner. As long as you are physically able, join the group and be sure to introduce yourself to anyone you don’t know.
Plan to Leave Early
The time after dinner is when people feel full after eating and want to sit and chat. Alcohol consumption may increase as the evening progresses. You would be wise to say “Goodnight” to your host and fellow guests shortly after dinner.
Suggest Sober Options for the Next Get-together
As you tell your host what a good time you had and how much you are looking forward to the next get-together, suggest a couple of sober options. It will plant a seed among your group of friends that they can socialize without drinking alcohol. What kinds of activities can you suggest? Here are a few examples:
- Going on a ghost tour
- Going to a free public lecture
- Going to the beach
- Going horseback riding
- Going on a picnic
- Making jam
- Playing cards (for a gift certificate to a restaurant or movie theater)
- Playing badminton or tennis
- Visiting the planetarium
- Visiting the zoo
- Volunteering for a cause you support
There are many activities you and your friends and family can do that don’t involve drinking alcohol. The activities on the list above will help you and your friend group stay curious and have some fun. More importantly, they will help you avoid large blocks of time where you can become bored. Boredom can lead to alcohol cravings and start a downward spiral toward a slip or a full-on relapse.
